It’s finally come, come to knock down my door

I can’t hide this time like I hid before

Monster from Frozen- The Musical

It has been over a year since I last wrote a post!

There has been times where I wish that I picked it up again but something had stopped me. I think that I felt ashamed.

I was ashamed that I had started something and then had a bit of blip on the weight loss side of things and felt that I would be letting people down, so I made an unconscious decision to just stop writing.

Something that I regretted doing then and even more so now.

The more that I tried to write and update you all, I was filled with fear and dread.

As I write this now, I am listening to Frozen- the Broadway soundtrack to a song called Monster and Elsa sings “It’s finally come, come to knock down my door
I can’t hide this time like I hid before ” and that is how I felt when it came to the blog. I had the FEAR!

This fear is something that I am trying to overcome and like Elsa, I can’t keep hiding like I have been.

Sadly, I have to tell you that I am at my heaviest weight again so I have decided that I am starting down that scary path of losing weight again.

Over the last few months, I have made little changes here and there, however in the past few weeks I have been making more and more changes. I am fully committed to this.

As this will be a brand new journey and a fresh start- I decided to start blogging again- with all that said- welcome back to my fresh start which includes an updated blog- Digging For Gold!

Digging For Gold will be focused on a myriad of different things. My battle with my weight as well as my opinions on different books, TV shows, movies and musicals!

The new blog title might confuse most of you, to me it makes perfect sense. Right now, i feel am like a lump of coal, waiting for the layers (of blubber) to be chipped away until the gold comes through.

Over the last year, a lot has happened. We are now fully settled in Kendal and really enjoying living here. I have a new job that i am really loving, which I think has helped me to become more confident and helped me to able to face my fears.

The seasons have changed, weather has got colder, the nights are drawing in and the end of 2019 is nigh!

2019 has been a huge challenge for me but I am determined to make this change, again! But this time will be different!

I will be taking it at my own pace, not trying to keep up with everyone else around me and will not be using social media as a means to judge myself with. We are all different and it is time to embrace this challenge and realise that inside of me is the gold that people have often told me that i am.

I will be updating you all on my journey again but the blog won’t just be focusing on losing weight all the time, otherwise I fear that I will get disheartened again when the scales don’t reflect how I feel.

Instead, I will go digging for gold wherever I can find it! Whether that is a new restaurant, a good book, an enthralling movie or TV series, or just my rambling thoughts (trust me I have plenty of those!).

I really hope that you will join me on my journey digging for gold, I would really appreciate it. If you have anything that you would like to me to write about please let me know but remember that I am no Shakespeare. I am just someone who enjoys blogging and writing.

If you don’t already follow my blog, please do. It would mean a lot 🙂

To end this first post back after my hiatus, I would like to share with you another lyric from Frozen the musical which i have needed to tell myself a lot over this past year. It has come to mean a lot to me.

I may not have said goodbye to dark and fear fully yet, but I am trying. Please help me fill this world with light and love 🙂

Goodbye to dark and fear

Let’s fill this world with light and love

Elsa + Anna- Frozen the Musical